Turntables may not be practical, sensible or reasonable in this day and age, but they can still be great tools for enjoying music, and just as important, they can still be sexy as hell.

Here are our picks for the seven sexiest turntables in the world.

The Rega Planar 78

The Rega Planar 78 is a minimal mono turntable, designed specifically to play 78’s.

The plinth design is of a low mass particulate core sandwiched by highly rigid phenolic laminates. The P78 uses a derivative of the new ultra low vibration rigid mounted motor assembly. The platter is CNC machined HDF which is then metalized, giving a platter with good mass and accuracy.

Finally, the P78 carries the legendary Rega RB250 tonearm, (The choice of many other turntable manufacturers).

If you need to satisfy your vinyl fetish in minimal style at 78 RPM, there is no alternative.

The Touraj Moghaddam Signature (TMS) 2 Turntable

The function of a record player is to measure the groove with respect to time. To measure the groove, with respect to time.

Few turntables measure the groove with respect to time with more style than the Touraj Moghaddam Signature (TMS) 2 turntable. The three tier plinth decouples the platter, with each layer engineered to perform a specific task and decoupled to isolate specific frequencies.

The VPI Super Scoutmaster Turntable

The VPI Super Scoutmaster Turntable may have the worst name in the history of turntables, but its still one sexy mofo.

According to VPI, the SSM uses the most accurate motor drive in the business, the HR-X system. The massive flywheel and dual motor drive are controlled by the revolutionary SDS power supply. The finishing touches are the specially designed, non-resonant laminated chassis and – this borders on the kinky – the periphery ring clamp.

The ring clamp lowers warp induced speed variations to near zero, making the combination of HR-X flywheel drive and perfectly level record sound like a master tape.

The Basis 2200 Signature

The Basis 2200 Signature turntable incorporates suspension under the turntable platform, which features “resonance annihilators which convert vibrational energy into heat.

Resonance? Consider it annihilated.

According to Basis, the close proximity of the tonearm to the adjacent isolator is a great advantage: tonearm energy, created as the stylus traces the record groove, is effectively and immediately eliminated by this close isolator. The result is an immediate and direct sound, the hallmark of the suspended 2000 series turntables.

This may be the perfect dj turntable to jam with if you’ve got a Gleeman Pentaphonic clear synthesizer.

The SME Model 30 Turntable

When you’re ready to move up to a no-nonsense $36,000 turntable, SME has you covered. Their Model 30 turntable is compact and dense, weighing in at 90 lbs.

The Model 30 uses a combination of elastomers and silicone to achieve an almost zero Q suspension. The main bearing, which supports the over 15 lb. platter, has such tight tolerances it requires a diluted watch oil to be properly lubricated!

The SME platter mat has a unique combination of high shear stiffness and effective vertical damping to eliminate the energy feedback from the platter back into the record. The mechanically decoupled brushless three-phase motor eliminates cogging to ensure precise speed control, and also provides high torque to pull through the highest of dynamic passages with breeze.

Does the world need a $36,000 turntable?

Who knows. Does the world need Paris Hilton? Probably not, yet somehow we seem to find her fascinating.

Oracle Delphi MK V Turntable

The Oracle Delphi MKV is engineered to a level that “the industry is invited to emulate”, according to the manufacturer.

The Oracle’s subchassis / platter / tonearm assembly is suspended by a tripedal mounting, which cuts out room vibrations. The Mk V is provided with a unique main bearing configuration. The two bushings traditional system has been replaced by a new system using six precision surfaced nylon setscrews. The Mk V also features a dual current drive circuitry having maximum start-up torque energy and minimum efficient operational energy, which guarantees lowest possible motor vibration, as well as perfect speed accuracy and stability.

Best of all, thanks to Oracle’s Groove Isolation concept, you hear all the fine nuances concealed in your records.

Technics SL-1200 TurnTable

No list of turntables is complete without the Technics SL-1200 MK2. From the disco era to today, Technics decks have been the standard.

There are a lot of good reasons why, too. SL-1200’s offer vibration-resistant construction, low-speed, high-torque motors, quartz pitch locking and direct drive accuracy. Add anti-skate control and a sliding pitch controller, and you’ve got a classic.

Best of all, the SL-1200 is a great turntable that mere mortals can afford – and that may make it the sexiest turntable of them all.