It’s an unfortunate law of the universe that guys always look stupid playing the keytar.
While there are plenty of memorable keytar goddesses, Herbie Hancock is the only guy, ever, to look cool playing the keytar.
Here’s Hancock looking pretty badass with a Roland AX-7:
Jean Michel Jarre may have come pretty close to looking cool with a keytar, but he’s got that French je ne sais quoi on his side.
Guys can look cool playing the drums, the electric guitar, the saxophone, the bass, the congas, keyboards, the theremin – all sorts of instruments. But looking cool playing the keytar poses a unique challenge.
Need proof of this unfortunate fact?
Here you go, with apologies to all the male keytarists out there:
This Keytarist Rocks The Shrubbery Like No Other
The Keytar Fun Guy’s Jamming Makes The Man In Bright Red Suspenders So Very, Very Happy
This Keytarist Philospher Gets His Hookah On
This Keytarist Duct Taped His Instrument
At least – that’s what she said.
This Keytarist Looks Like Wolverine, Has A Steampunk Keytar, And Is Ready For His Balloon Jaunt
Guy Experiences The Unique Pleasures Of A Tyco Keytar
Even Badass Tattoos Couldn’t Save This Keytarist
This Guitarist Looks Sexy Enough To Get Chicks. But The Keytarist Looks Like He Just Farted A Death Cloud
IMO Jan Hammer looks even cooler than Herbie, at least as great as him 🙂
Josh – we’re looking for hard evidence to disprove the theory, not just anecdotal evidence.
Got a photo link?
I tried looking for a photo of Keith Emerson with an improvised keytar, basically just a rope attached to some heavy-looking keyboard.
But to brighten up the day after looking at this:
http://www.411mania.com/siteimages/keytar2py4_4627.jpg
Oh, sorry. There you go:
http://www.cbc.ca/arts/images/pics/miamivice2.jpg
http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/1719/hmmmmse6.jpg
I was going to say Jan Hammer too. How’s this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/neilvance/2257418239/ and http://www.cbc.ca/arts/images/pics/miamivice2.jpg
His Beyond the Mind’s Eye introduced me to playing synth as expressively like a guitar!
Jordan Rudess and his near-white goatee has been pretty badass: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/dd/Dream_Theater_Live_in_Argentina_03-03-08.jpg/500px-Dream_Theater_Live_in_Argentina_03-03-08.jpg
BlueBrat – nice! You may want to check out the keytar goddess posts.
Josh – I considered Jan Hammer before coming up with this theory, but while he’s a transcendentally awesome keytarist, an important electronic musician and a tremendously nice guy (see our Jan Hammer interview), time has not been kind on 80’s keyboardist fashion. More photos may be needed to determine if Hammer can disprove the theory.
Torley – I’m not sure if the Rudess image is relevant or not, since he’s clearly wielding not a run of the mill keytar, but a rare Krimellian Death Scimitar – but he does look pretty badass.
Have you never heard of DEVO? They looked cool no matter what, and they used the heaviest of the ‘key-tar’s’, the Moog Liberation. (Most of these people are simply key-tards.) Now, Herbie is awesome, Jan was okay, but Devo had that extra edge that keyboardists sorely needed (this was before NIN, Skinny Puppy and Ministry) Somewhere in an old issue of Keyboard Magazine is a pic of Devo with their Liberations. I have searched and cannot find. Perhaps you will find that pic. Perhaps I will find it still, and since I am on the clock, it will be a worthwhile search. LOL.
perpatron is the child-molesting robot keytarist for a band called “the human aftertaste”.
http://www.humanaftertaste.com
watch him touch kids and rock sweet keytar riffs!
And let’s not forget Edger Winters (go look up that video of “Frankenstein”). And he’s still at it (although I’m not sure if a Roland JP-8000 counts as a keytar just because you hang it around your neck).
What? No “babe” and “sexy” tags for these guys? Pish.
Jennifer –
I’ll leave it to you and the other Synthtopia readers of the better sex to decide if these guys deserve to be tagged – as babes, sexy or otherwise.
True.
I feel like I should also add having your picture taken while perfroming is kinda like people photographing you while you eat… the chances are higher than normal you could be caught looking like an idiot with your mouth hanging open…
looking cool is a part style, part personality and a part performance art… the balance is always delicate
George
Keyboarder of Jeez Louise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMGNyrTJRDg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34Qbb7SHb90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqf1EYTsUnY
I am one insane human
George
Keyboarder of Jeez Louise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMGNyrTJRDg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34Qbb7SHb90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqf1EYTsUnY
I am one insane human
Old post, but hey. Saw Stevie in London the other weekend. The master came out on a keytar and shred that up while lying on his back
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gt33/4741978240/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/31291200@N08/4740942…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/31291200@N08/4740325…
http://youtu.be/5BNi6RDO1y8
c’mon – Howard Jones ruled the ‘remote keyboard’ !!
Paul Meaney!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHMQEfkzMGI&feature=related
Please fix the images on this page