Worst Music App Promo Ever? Remember – “There’s No Need To Waste Time Learning Boring Music Theory Or Any Of That Nonsense!”

The script for this promo video for Dr. Drum beat making software is a stream of epic hyperbole. We think it may be a game changer!

Remember: “There’s no need to waste time learning boring music theory or any of that nonsense!”

Check it out and let us know what you think!

via djtt

113 thoughts on “Worst Music App Promo Ever? Remember – “There’s No Need To Waste Time Learning Boring Music Theory Or Any Of That Nonsense!””

  1. – The video is way toooo long and boring
    – It’s clear that this program is not interesting at all. As you stated, “There’s no reason to waste your time learning boring music theory” is probably the worse thing I’ve ever listened to.
    – However this app is not for musicians, but for wanna-be artists who think it’s interesting. I believe this advertisement is good for making money 🙂

    1. you are missing the point.

      the amount of cliches this video throws at you is equal to heaviest verbal abuse i ever heard.
      this is not advertising. this is someone thinking you are an idiot and he will profit on your ignorance.
      but it´s so poorly done it´s not even trying to camouflage it.

      mp3 is for beginners? than the demo of the program? pan the until you get the sound just right? copy paste? and then downplaying investing into hardware and sw, but most of all knowledge?

      i really am schocked. truly. same kind of emptyness when witnessing some real brutal incident on tv.
      not sure why it hits me like that.

      1. It’s perfect for the audience they are going for – kids, wanna be’s, morons that wear their jeans halfway down their ass. They’ll eat this shit up.

      2. I’m not really missing the point. We totally agree on this. I was just saying that serious musicians shouldn’t get fooled by such an advertisement. It’s clear it’s a randomly useless app, created to make money. People who buy it are not musicians.

    2. Keep in mind that every time you watch this, it adds to the number of views they’ve had on YouTube (currently almost 3.1 million)–and that’s pretty much all they care about.

      If you really don’t like this app, be sure to post your comments on YouTube, since most of the viewers there think this is pretty cool.

      Just a thought….

      1. They won’t allow anyone to post anything negative for this video at the YouTube sight, the video makers set comments to need approval, and they won’t approve any disparaging comments.

  2. oh my god. i am… i feel literaly sick.

    they even ripped the style from the RSA animate lectures…but the words. my god the words.
    never thought i could say this but..if i had a baseball bat – and somebody confronted me verbally with this steaming pile of words….i think i might do something inhuman.

    bring back the capital punishment. torture these fokers. make them pay. make them pay.

    1. This should make you feel better in one way, and just a little worse in another:

      All the comments are positive comments for this video on YouTube have been set to be approved by the video’s creator (DR. Drum). They won’t allow any negative comments there.

      I tried myself with this one:

      “Now creating ‘sick beats’ is as easy and ‘crazy learning-free’ as playing a CD that already has sick beats!”

      I wasn’t approved.

  7. Really??? You’re advertising a music related app without any music in the commercial at all!!! And as if that was not enough, you’re trashing all the music theory by calling it useless! I’m a musician, I use sequencers, drum-machines, piano rols, midi keyboards and many other electronic, software/hardware every day… But, OMG! I would never say to anyone that music theory is nonsense! And that is just out of respect! (which you seam to lack!) I’m a musician and I’m deeply offended by this add!

  8. Hmmm….now where did I put that credit card I had stashed away for that
    elusive ” Gotta get this RIGHT NOW ” program I just can’t live without.

  11. *lol* Honestly, this whole video is a joke, right? These 5 minutes are arrogance, ignorance and idiocy in pure form.

    “Who wants to mess around with all that complicated stuff when you can be turning out beats that will impress your gang?”
    I think I have to puke.

    So either this is a hilarious parody of all the “I just wanna make some phat beats”-kiddies or really, really sad marketing that tries to make some cash with people who are not interested in making music but only in the fame of big name producers.

    I could make a very, very long list with quotes of this video that I find embarrassing at least. Just sad.

  12. Hahahaha. “Check out our kick ass drum machine with a crazy amount of 12 slots for samples”. Hahaha Ableton live= drum rack (128 samples)–> 16 channel mixer–> chains, vst compatibility

    These people are on crack. Worst load of crap I’ve ever seen in my life haha.

    1. I think no sane person could make something like this without intentionally trying to make the worst (and most hilariously awful) music software ad imaginable.

      But it might not be a joke – if you click on the web site it does take you to some kind of payment system.

  17. What would make this awesome would be Harry Shearer saying “warning, not guaranteed to make sick beats” at the end.

    That said, 29.95 to absolutely, definitely guarantee a Grammy without learning all that techie stuff kanyes producers learned seems a pretty good deal.

  19. You mean, I didn’t have to put down tons of cash on a high-spec computer, big-name DAW, mixer, VSTs, fancy sound card, and expensive keyboard? I could have just bought this software to make music instead?

    WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME? NOOOOOOOO

  21. Sure, there’s a lot of cheese here, but some of this stuff is just flat-out untrue. Seriously, what DAW out there DOESN’T offer exporting in 44.1 wav? is there some mp3-only DAW I’m not aware of?

    1. I think they’re trying to make it sound like they’re “legit,” to put it the way they would. It’s as if I were selling you a 5-speed hand mixer, and I say, ” My mixer comes with a plug for AC power, not a bicycle pedal like the other guys. Seriously, if you just start moving the mixer around the bowl to stir, any executive chef will LAUGH you outta the kitchen, and how will you cook up your sick beets then? Don’t let those other mixer companies fool you, to mix in North America you’re gonna need industry-standard AC power ranging from 100 to 127 volts if you wanna maintain your rep.”

  22. You should’ve seen discussion on YouTube. This is what makes me sick. And it looks like they are tooting their own horns, this is ordinary scam.

  25. While I don’t really care one way or another about this video or it’s creator, the writer of this article should check the video again and get his/her title quote right. That’s not at all what they say at 1:00 in the video. This is a prime example of crappy journalism 101.

    2. The writer of Jim C’s comment should check the video again and get his/her information right. The quote is taken from the video at 3:40.

  29. I can’t wait for these devs to write a banging word processor so I can get my first couple of novels done. Come on devs. Get it done.

  30. Holy fuck balls, I’ve never wanted to punch a woman before, but the sound of her voice spewing forth this verbal excrement has brought me to this point. I wish that I had some Anon buddies so that I could ask them to launch all out war against Dr. Dumb.

  32. I really do not get what is so easy and innovative in this software. It seams to me it works like every other DAW just whit less features, less channels, less sounds and less quality. 44.1 is not such a great standard, at least not at 16 bit, gimme 24 at least (better if 48k or 96k) so I can get done a decent mastring by a real pro and spend all the money I did not spend in music theory and mixing courses in man hours correcting the mess I made.
    Funny is they never use the term music, but just talk about beats. Making beats is for sure easier than dealing whit harmony and melody.

  33. It’s complete crap software written with Flash and they have used viral marketing to sell it to people that don’t know any better. For a similar price you could buy FL Studio Express.

  34. Unless this is being.used to identify and then swiftly hunt down and neuter or spay ingenious wannabe idiots out.there…..that would be a service to us all. alas through it seems to be greedy crap marketing targeting the dumbest ppl in our society to make quick buck
    I just threw up a little in my mouth

    1. I think the people they’re targeting are extremely jealous of musicians, and are looking to live out some kind of revenge fantasy where they show us a thing or two, dammit.

  39. OMG!!! HAD I ONLY KNOWN I could win a Grammy and sound just like Dr. Dre just by buying this 29.99 program that looks like Fruity Loops 1.0!!!

    WHY OH WHY did I spend all those long boring years in college learning useless music theory and synthesis, and then learning to use incomprehensible software like Pro Tools and Logic??? And still no Grammy!!! I am downloading this piece of crap right now, and tomorrow I’ll be in Simon Cowell’s office with my pro-quality, 44.1khz 16-bit demo, and I’ll be on my way to untold fame and riches!!! So long, suckers!!!

  40. There is something to be said for a piece of software that is accessible to beginners. I don’t know if I’d ever have become immersed in making electronic music if Reason hadn’t been so damn simple to use twelve years ago. Obviously, “Dr.” Drum (did he go to Hollywood Upstairs Musical College?) takes this concept further than is practical.

    If you want to sell an $800 production suite, you’d better market it as a professional tool. If you’re making strictly entry-level stuff, go ahead and market it to entry-level users. Just don’t make an ad that’s 5 minutes long!

    1. There’s a lot to say for software that is accessible to beginners!
      However, this is not it. It looks like a generic DAW from 10 years ago, probably with fewer options.

      I doubt that they have looked at their own product; they bought it or cheated it away from some programmer, now hoping to sell a bunch before they fold when support calls start coming.

  41. An absolutely fair judgement. The learning curve is less steep and the interfaces don’t look so much like an airplane cockpit to a beginner.I think what sickens us most is how they promise top-notch quality with their entry level product comparable to that of experts with all that fancy equipment and learnin’. I’m definitely with you on the importance of simple entry level stuff to get you going.

    When an athlete wears a brand of sneaker in a commercial, it’s only implied that his success is based on the sneaker. They never outright say “This sneaker is why I won, and you can too.”

    Here they’re selling you a feather and saying you can fly.

  44. Holy crap. What a pile of BS. Hey promo script people, do you namedrop much? If I was Dre or Kanye’s people I’d sue them for violating right of publicity. Ugh.

  47. whew, finally I can throw out all my tower, sound card, modular equipment, theory books, sheet music, reference monitors, pre-amps, synths, controllers, and all that boring stuff and finally make a beat that I already heard on the radio!

    What a relief that it is 2012. I was beginning to get bored just turning and all on and waiting for music to come out of it. 700 hours of staring at blinking lights, wasted.

    With Dr. DRum, a piece of software has finally come along that can replace all my talent! WOOT!

  49. Watching this caused my IQ to drop (at least seven points). Never in my life have I wanted to strangle a disembodied voice more.

  50. “All for the price of a fancy dinner for two at your favorite joint.”

    I’d believe that… if my favorite joint was McDonalds, as I’m sure it is for anyone who actually buys into this junk.

  53. This is so much /crap/ piled up that its not even remotely funny. No, I’m not trying to ‘diss’ the product, I’m merely stating that in my semi-professional opinion this is a big load of crap best avoided and ignored. Unless you actually like playing with dinky toys like this.

    No shame in that, really, the software could be fun I suppose. But the way they promote it and the false promises they make is simply disgraceful.

    “Only” $29,95 but that’s because we get a $300,- /discount/. See their website. And only “while stocks last”. Uhm, weren’t we talking /downloadable/ software here? What stocks?

    AND what they’re basically saying here is that this software should normally sell for $329,95. That’s almost as expensive as Ableton Live. And the only thing you can do with this “software” is percussion and nothing else.

    Are you f-ing kidding me ?

  57. I don’t care what this looks like. This is not a good thing.
    You want to be serious about the music you make? EVEN without knowing musical theory or knowing how to play an instrument? WORK FOR IT. SAVE UP FOR IT. Once you have it GO through all the trouble and hardship it takes to develope the skills necessary to really produce good music. ITS WORTH IT. Don’t give in to all this easy-way-out crap. I don’t care if you like Queen or Skrillex. They have freaken skills, you can develope those same skills if your willing to get REAL professional and hard to use software. One more thing. Don’t just make music all for the sake of trying to make your friends jealous or win fame and fortune. Do it because its something you have a heart and soul for. Savy? ALRIGHT. Thank-you. 🙂

  58. Well I happen to be a professional producer and one question I have about this particular DAW is has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

  63. I’m almost positive that this is the work of one or two giggling hipsters with a knack for music production & software programming – imagine it, they see the n’th ridiculous T-pain app making thousands of bucks, bitch about it as usual, man people are dumb, can’t believe they’re paying money for this crap… Woah… Hold on… And then, eureka, embark on the greatest ironic experiment of their careers: Dr Beat. But they don’t wanna be no industry scammers. They don’t wanna contribute to THAT mess – these men are philosophers. They’re gonna be funny about it. It’s a win-win: either people get the joke and they’ve created a wonderful bit of satire on the shallowness of certain entry-level music products, OR people actually take it seriously and buy it in droves and they laugh all the way to the bank. The way they figure it, anyone stupid enough to buy their crap had it coming. I mean, look at the way they’ve set this up: A) in order to create this software they needed to have well-beyond basic knowledge of music production and the like, and B) to anyone with even the slightest knowledge of music production the marketing is just so ridiculous that it couldn’t possibly be meant to be taken seriously. It seems much too tongue-in-cheek to be something maliciously construed to scam the ‘umble masses with their baggy pants & starstruck ambitions – if that’d been the primary objective they would’ve been less blatantly ridiculous about it, I feel (I mean, look at their website for chrissakes). Someone somewhere is laughing their heads off right now at how well this joke is going.

  66. I think they tell the whole tale when they list the styles of music the thing is aimed at. They’re all derivatives of techno, a few R&B pretensions aside. That guarantees simplicity, repetition and barely 3 molecules of what we’d normally see as actual talent. Skynet is starting with music gear, argh. This thing is a lazy joke. It’ll sell in the thousands.

  68. here’s another one… beatmaxpro.com
    THEY’RE MULTIPLYING!!!!!!
    and this one seems more serious, feature wise, but no fucking way it is PRO software. for kids, teenagers playing around, yes. but don’t tell people they’re going to be BIG with this piece of shit.
    “This is the last promo! Once this ends, the suggested retail price is between $137.99-$199.99. If you come back later today, we cannot guarantee that you will see the price you do now.” wtf…
    someone should buy this/crack and upload to the most popular torrent sites, so people would not buy this crap and learn for themselves.
    sorry i just got kinda mad at these evil mofos.

  69. If software could have sex….and Fruity Loops got drunk and banged his sister…his inbred love child would be…….Dr.Drum…

    2. Lots of terrible products are profitable, considering how much easier it is to part a fool from his money than a clever person, I’d say it’s quite likely that more profitable products are terrible than excellent.

  72. Did they hire the “Cheap Canadian v1@gr@!!1!” marketing company to do their advertising campaign?

    And if their software is so easy to use, why do they need to have awesome video tutorials?

    Finally, is there a setting I can use if I only want to sound HOTTTT with four Ts instead of five?

  73. I must be some kind of idiot for not ordering this sooner. Thank god its here. I’ve been wasting my time for years. This thing can actually pan the sound (thats moving the sound between two speakers). I had no idea!

  75. Actually, we should have a contest to make the best track using only this software. Sort of like a handicap. You’d probably have to work pretty fucking hard to make something good with this. I’ll throw in a prize of my (self-declared) award winning Kazoo sample pack…though I’d have to record it first.

  78. Hahahahahahaahaha!!!! Brilliant find, Synthhead.

    The awful speed-drawn cartoons are truly expertly drafted – I appreciate the rather unappealing portrayal of the suckers who will end up buying and attempting to use this software to make “sick beats.”

    The announcer seems so intentionally unenthusiastic, awkward and embarrassed-sounding it’s priceless. The ironic subtext (“this software and script are both embarrassing pieces of crap, and the company has nothing but contempt for its customers”) is so glaringly obvious that one can’t help but wonder if it’s not really an ad for the software but rather an elaborate joke on the viewer, a biting satire of music software advertising, a promotional video for the speed-drawing cartoonist, or some kind of bizarre reverse psychology (“our product sucks, as do our customers, as does this ad – if you have no self-respect, buy it now!”)

  81. Thanks for the ad Synthtopia! I was about to blow 500 bucks on Ableton, you’ve just save me $470. Now I can buy a PC to run DrBeat too!.

  82. Having played with Queen for many years, getting together with a drummer to play with musical ideas has always been a chore. Now, I can write my own beats and jam all night! I highly recommend DrBeat to my fellow virtuoso guitarists!

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